第1針 The First Injection

終於第一針，非常希望有好的反應，臨出門口，依姑娘指示食了止嘔藥及輕微類固醇以免打標靶藥時有可能產生的不適。吃過美味早餐，到了診所, 醫生和姑娘詳細解釋整個落藥情況之後，醫生即檢查昨天的導管情況，姑娘便開始滴藥。由早上11時至下午3時，老公買了午餐給我，因為有這條喉，我不再要插手，不用比姑娘拉小提琴方式，拉出拉入搵血管。最後完成後，沒有任何不良反應，感恩。正式同癌細胞開戰。

Finally the first shoot. I take the pills instructed by the nurse to minimize the uncomfortable effect while injection. After having breakfast with my husband, we set off to the clinic. I start from 11am to 3pm. Because I have the Central Venous Catheter, I do not need to suffer from the pain while nurses finding my vein with the needle in and out.  Thanks God that there is no significant negative feeling after the injection. But today, I declare the war with cancer START.

早餐 - 皮旦瘦肉粥+炸兩
午餐 - 雲吞麵 + 油菜 + 熱豆漿
晚餐 - 白汁意大利粉 (兒子下廚日)
Breakfast - congee with thousand years' egg and pork + rice roll
Lunch - Wonton noodle + vegetable + hot bean milk

正電子素描 Petscan

今日要去做幅射人, 但係搵打豆過程超痛苦, 最後係搞到成手血, 整個過程不好受。
Today, I have to go to take the Petscan. It is not easy to find a good blood vessel to inject the glucose. It is really painful and my blood stains all over my wrist.

 

長病假前的工作日 the working day before the long sick leave

今天回到公司, 是要交底手尾, 今次見過面, 都不知下一次幾時見, 有些同事已在facebook見到我的情況, 一見到我便流淚,既成事實,我會努力面對的. 大家拍過照, 大家擁抱過,即使現在, 大家仍在facebook或what's app為我打氣。
 

                                            
                        

 Today, I need to hand over my work as I need to take a long sick leave. Some colleagues know my situation at my facebook and they start crying while they see me. I take many photos with them, and we hug. Until today, I will encourage me over facebook or what's app.

抽骨髓 Spinal Tap

 唸起抽骨髓, 就唸返Kenneth以前係醫院時抽, 非常痛。心中都好驚, 但唸, Kenneth7歲都得, 冇理由我47歲唔得架。入到房, 見到掛滿龍貓畫, 姑娘話係醫生D小朋友畫既, 咁又一個巧合, 我以前係屈臣氏蒸餾水做時, 花名就是龍貓, 因我牙齒生較方型, 加上身型, 同事覺得好似龍貓, 而我亦好鐘意龍貓。

整個過程又快, 只是一點點痛吧, 原來錢真的可買痛苦。當然, 事實係醫生夠專業, 同埋佢會顧及我, 他每一移動都問痛唔痛, 一話痛, 醫生即移過些。當天氣管喘得很厲害, 醫生即安排藥給我嘖, 等我沒有那麼辛苦。

When the Dr. tell me that he would arrange the spinal tab, I recalled my memory about my son, Kenneth , who was 7 years old and he had the spinal tab 4 times.  I think he can do it, I can also. I enter the room, there are pictures of Totoro. My nick name was Totoro while I was working in Watson's Water a long time ago.

The process is so fast and feeling no pain. I realize that money can buy pain. In fact, it is mainly because the doctor is professional and considerate. He will ask me whether I feel pain. When I tell him that it is pain, he will move a bit. I have a bad cough today, and the doctor give me medicine to make me feel comfort.

第一次與馬承恩醫生會面 The first visit to Dr. Lawrence Ma

一早9點, 即往威爾斯排隊, "正常"醫院既接待員, 比個期我係2017年, 我即同佢講我等唔到, 我同佢講有封信可以交比醫生嗎? 那封是律敦治醫生的信. 等了一會, 有個姑娘叫我名,我行埋去, 佢我講, 會交比血液科醫生,  如果下星期仲未有人通知你改期, 你可以打返黎問一下。不過都相信會安排好快,你既情況都好急要安排.

早前已問了有幾位醫生, 從中選了2位, 老公即時亦安排了其中一位5點, 於是各自回公司,我回公司安排交低手尾, 係回公司途中, 再去問我邊一位較有耐性, 因為我的牛脾氣唔係人人受到, 自己再會因病變得更差, 所以一位好EQ既醫生會好些。我學生的意見係一位較急, 一位會對病人有耐性, 我即通知老公, 我想去睇另外一位, 就係咁, 我們選擇了馬承恩醫生, 他們天立即安排我下午1點前到, 望一望錶, 已12點, 隨即快快交低文件, 拜託了Barbara幫手,她沒有任何怨言, 立即伸出援手, 多謝她, 我方可立即離開。

到了 馬醫生, 第一眼都覺得佢好親切, 只是醫生個英文名同的弟弟一樣。我申請了E-病歷, 醫生可以用我給予的密碼睇到我公立醫院的文字狷歷及報告. 他亦好坦白告知我的情況, 我老公之前亦做了功課, 醫生都一一回答, 我的情況是急, 生存是以周數計, 隨即安排明天抽骨髓, 下星期做正電子掃描, 29號覆診, 最快30號可做第一次化療。但因為要付現金, 隨即到銀行取, 人生第一次拎住6萬現金去睇醫生, 好豪咁。

We arrive Prince Wales Hospital at 9 am. And they offer me the appointment date is in 2017. I tell the reception that I cannot wait until 2017. And I ask her whether I can submit a letter to the Doctor. After a while a nurse calls my name and she says they will submit the letter to Doctor and asks for an earlier date. And she tells me that my case is in urgent and they will offer me the soonest date.

At the same time, we asked many people about the private doctor with better reputation. And we short list into two doctors. My husband immediately call and make the appointment at 5 pm today. So we go back to our office.  And I ask my student about the doctor who have high EQ. As I know I will be bad tempered and my husband will ask questions. So a high EQ doctor would make me feel better. And she tells me that one is radical and the other one would concern more about the patient. So I tell my husband that I prefer to see another doctor. And the nurse ask us to come before 1 pm. And it is 12 noon and I do not finish my job on hand. I go to ask for help from Barbara and she helps me without any complaints. Thank you very much. So I can leave. 

This is the first time to meet Dr. Ma. He has the same English name as my brother. He looks friendly and he explains my case in details and answer all my husband's questions .  As I apply or the e-record, Dr. Ma can use the password to open my written record at the public hospital. And he immediately arrange the bone marrow examination tomorrow and the petscan next week. Then we back to clinic on 29. The earliest chemo therapy would be arranged on 30. And they would accept cash for the test, this is my first time to take 60,000 cash to clinic.

睇報告 Report announced

等了幾小時，終於到我了，入了醫生房，拖住老公隻手。醫生㩒咗幾下電腦，便說:「你係有急性淋巴惡性瘤，個瘤都旱有的大及大得快,不過，好消息是這癌症是唯一有得醫及好高成功率。。 」聽完，眼淚流下來，抹了一下，之後自己傻笑了。怎麼又是我，又係旱有。老公之前已做了功課，即問瘤的類型，點醫，醫生告知因律敦治沒有血液科，於是轉去威爾斯，而醫生隨即寫信，取信後，雖坐的士但到威爾斯時已5點，唯有第二日再黎。隨即約2個仔火鍋放題，並於飯後告訴他們。爸爸説大家要面對一個新挑戰。細佬居然以為家裡有新成員:-S 。但當通知是癌症，細佬即時擁抱我，那一刻，我同老公的淚水已阻不了。這晚，大家都難以入睡。Waitng for a few hours, finally my turn. I sit on the chair and holding my husband's hand. The doctor checks on the computer, then he told me that it is lymphoma. It is rare to have such a big size. It grows rapidly but this is a good news that this cancer can be cured with a high successful rate. But I need to transfer to Prince Wales Hospital as I need to Haemat that  Ruttonjee Hospital do not have. We take taxi to the Prince Wales Hospital with the doctor referral. But we arrive at 5 and need to come again next day. So we call our sons to have the saibu buffet. Dad says that we may come across a big challenge. My younger son thinks that we will have a new family member. :-)) . But while we told that I have lymphoma, Kenneth hug me immediately. My husband and I cannot stop crying. That night is an awful night to us. 

甲狀腺超聲波 Thyroid ultrasound

上午仍有返工, 下午去照甲狀腺超聲波, 居然等候中見到當初入院那位外國醫生,他還說祝我好運。照時, 醫生不停係機上影相, 以我所知, 一定是有發現,檢查尺寸。照完再抽血, 左手的針孔已有6點, 右手手點, 但血管太幼, 都只有在左手加多一個。

I go to hospital after work in am to have the Thyroid ultrasound.  While waiting, I met the foreign doctor again while he examine my situation on the first day in ward. He wish me good luck in finger cross. At the time of ultrasound, I can hear the doctor making marks on photo. In my knowledge, they will marks and measure those big.

Then I go to draw off blood. But my hands are full off marks, 6 left and 1 right. Finally, they give me one more on the left as my vessels are too thin.

抽組織化驗 Fine Needle biopsy

8/12 放工回家沖涼即趕入院,食飽飽後上病房,準備明天抽組織,好怕會痛。
9/12 要戴手術帽, 好認真, 入去前,CT人會解釋過程,細節及一切存在的危險性。
入到CT床上, 有另外一位女醫生,更詳細講一次她準備的步驟及抽2或3個組織, 越多會越準確，在整個過程, 呼吸要控制好,及千祈不要移動, 因為移動有可能令針插穿肺部或其他器官。我問痛的程度時, 她很冷靜說, 大多數都可忍到的。這一句, 我心靜了一下,相信應該可以的。
但真實的情況係超痛。

先在胸前貼上一張格仔紙,用CT機進出進出搵到格上位置,用筆點一下, 再於CT確定。確定後, 醫生依點位置塗上碘酒, 便同我講, 而家開始啦。打局部麻醉針, 一針插人心口, 又尖又長既感覺,好真實，以為好似洗牙咁,打完會痺晒, 係唔會既! 她告訴我而家插枝筆芯粗既針入去, 插一下會再CT,確實深度同位置, 我望向左面的TV, 見到個瘤正是我身體的一半, 真的好大,所以頂住個肺! 個枝筆芯既管一插, 我聽到係電影打仗時,比茅插入的聲音, 插入時, 完全感覺到, 唔覺得有麻醉, 插個時介要忍住度氣, 呼吸唔可以太快, 因為會影響插咗既位置。係CT又插,CT又插數次後, 醫生這而家開始抽組織,抽時係完全感覺有夾從皮膚扯抽出來, 我忍唔住都講咗句粗口, 又話唔痛既@#*#. 醫生冇答我,等了3分鐘, 再抽第2針, 係入D, 真係痛死,麻醉藥去咗邊. 我眼淚不停係眼角流,醫生同我講, 我相信你都唔忍到第三針,已抽了2個組織, 都應該足夠化驗的. 於是就抽返支管,貼上壓力膠布, 仲要趴住過床, 推上病房。

本來4點可出院, 但因為做過手術, 姑娘一定要人接先走得, 叫大仔黎接, 因為仍係尖沙咀返工, 點知都要攪到6點, 當日又落雨, 跑馬地仲賽馬日, 最後7點先有的士回家, 的士司機仲黑口黑面，我問佢係唔係拒載先, 佢仲衰, 全程行70,得登排慢線.

 

I rush to home after work for a quick bath and go to hospital on 8/12. My husband have a dinner with me and admit to ward and ready for tomorrow.

9/12 I need to wear the full set of operation dress and cap. Before going to CT, the nurse tell me the process and details and all possible defects.
Lie on the CT bed, another Dr explain to me more details about the process and she says minimum 2 or 3 sets of tissue should be collected in order to have more solid data. I ask her how pain is the process. She tells me that most people can stand for that. Then I think I can stand also. But in fact, it is  a lie.

First, they stick a grid sheet on my chest, and in and out CT to identify the exact grid. Then they use marker to mark it. The doctor told me that she is going to start and I need to keep in shape and cannot move to prevent the needle cut the lungs or other organs. And I can see the TV on my left and the tumor is just half of my body. How big it is. So the doctor inject some anesthetics. The needle is so sharp and long that I can feel it drill in my chest, it is really painful. Then Dr says she starts to insert a needle which size like the pen refill. The sound I can hear like the people was stuck by arrow in the war on movie. I need to hold the breath while she stuck in and breath in calm because I may move the needle and hurt the organ. And she need to push in several times after checking with the CT and make sure the right place and depth. Then she say we are going to take the first tissue out. I can feel the tissue is teared in my body. Holy shit, it is awful pain.  Then after 3 minutes, she gets another one deeper. My tears running down from my eye corners. Then the Dr says that I may not able to stand for the third pick. And she says the tissue collected is good and enough for examine.  After the pressure clot on my chest, I need to face down on the bed and back to ward. 

In fact, I can leave at 4pm. But the nurse insist that I need to be accompany by someone because I have the operation. So I suppose my son would be the fastest one as he works at TST. However, he comes around 6. And it rains heavily, cold and horse racing at Happy Valley, I hard find a taxi back home. When I get on the one, the driver black face while he heard that we go back to Shatin. And I ask him whether he wants to go to police station or Shatin, he drives me back home with 70 the whole trip, driving on the slow lane.  And I back home at 8pm finally with a very tired body.

急症室 A&E

約下午5點, 右肩變得似石頭般, 又硬又痛, 呼吸很吃力, 胸口鎖得緊緊的, 最後即往威爾斯急症室,等了一小時, 越來越痛, 有點頭暈,見等侯時間要8小時, 即使同分流站提出極辛苦，只有位嬸嬸夾一下手指, 話含氧量95%,冇問題。於是即乘的士往律敦治醫生,全港出名最快的急症室， 等候時間2小時。等待時間,頭痛, 肩痛得想爆開, 呼吸越來越急, 越來越淺。醫生做了心電腦, 肺X-RAY, 最後決定要我留院, 因為仍未正常呼吸。
上到病房, 一位外藉醫生檢查後, 稱我右肩為冷凍肌肉, 開了止痛藥和鎮定劑, 等我可放鬆。

當晚, 大仔同細佬,弟婦為我買些簡單入院用品, 因未食晚飯, 於11點買了牛什河給我, 那是我出事前最後一碗牛什河。

Around 5 pm, my right shoulder are so hard as stone. It is so painful and breathe terribly hard. The chest is locked and cannot expand. So my son and I go to A & E at Prince Wales Hospital. After waiting for an hour, feeling pain and a bit dizzy. Go to the station and they ask the workman to check my oxygen index. And it is over 95%, they says that there is no immediately problem also I cannot speak as the breathe is so hard.  As shown on the screen of the waiting hall, we need to wait not less than 8 hours. So I decided to take a taxi to the fastest A & E service at Ruttonjee Hospital. The screen show waiting time is 2 hours. Besides, feeling pain of my right shoulder, my head feel pain. The doctor there arrange me to have the x-ray of lungs and the electrocardiogram.Finally they admit me to the hospital as found my breathing is not stable. 

I met the foreign doctor and he explain to me that I have the frozen muscle of my right shoulder. He give me the pills of pain relieve and the tranquillizer. 

My son, my brother and my sister-in-law buy me the tissue, tooth brush. And since I do not eat my dinner, my son buy me a bowl of Beef Combinations Noodles for me.  

住院期 Staying in the hospital 22-26/11/2016

住了5天醫院, 照了3次肺,右肺下1/3部份花了， 做了一個電腦素描,發覺胸腔有陰影。最後出院後約9/12做抽組織檢驗。
住院期間, 不想家人周圍走, 老公和大仔黎了一次探我,他們放工趕來, 我堅決要求他們不要來。有些同事和藝人, 都熱心問侯, 有些更話買食物給我, 不過我都拒絕了, 我都想靜靜地, 不想麻煩他們, 樓下經常有記者車, 以免藝人比他們炒作。不過我添了麻煩給我弟婦, 她會幫我買麵包, 尿袋义電, 有時佢會比個驚喜我-車仔麵。

 
 

 

                                                








While staying for 5 nights in the hospital, I have 3 x-rays of my lung. They found the lower 1/3 of my right lung had disappeared. And they arrange me to have a CT and found a shadow in my chest. And they arrange to take tissue from the shadow on 9/12.

During the time staying there, I don't want my family rushing here after works. So I insist not to let them come again. And some colleagues and artistes send me these blessing to me. Some of them want to visit me and bring me some food. But I rejected all as I don't want to bother anyone. And I don't want them to have some negative news on paper while they visit me at the hospital. But I do bother my sister-in-law as she helps me to buy bread or food, especially recharging the battery charger. It is very important to keep the phone on as it is really boring there.

第三天 The Third Day

今天非常疲倦, 右肩疼痛加劇, 非常僵硬。
Today, extremely tired. The muscle of the right shoulder is so tight and pain.

第二天 The Second Day

持續咳, 沒有啖, 氣管喘,醫師在胸口針一下, 便放鬆了許。　

Coughing seriously and breathing fast, Dr. use acupuncture in my chest, then a bit release. 

第一天發現 The First Day

早上發覺呼吸困難,胸骨鎖得緊緊的， 速到家庭科醫生睇, 開了放鬆氣管藥, 好了些，但右肩疼痛。
It is hard to breathe in the morning. The chest seems locked up. So go to see the doctor immediately. Although medicine is given to relax the bronchus and feel better, the right shoulder is painful.